Camping Etiquette 101

While living and working at a lovely little campground on the west side of Mount Desert Island this past summer, there were a number of things I learned about tourists.   And, while most of our guests were truly fantastic and fun to chat with, there were always a few that made me wonder if they left their brain and common sense at home when they came on vacation.  Here are few anecdotes from my summer as a camp host which included everything from taking reservations to unplugging toilets, from educating people about tides as I helped them launch their kayaks to cleaning out fire pits after they left.  Never a dull moment...

The difference between site #19 and #20 is negligible, the margin between will not determine the success of your vacation.  Take a risk!  This should reduce at least 15 mins of your time, as well as the 6 other reservation calls that we missed whilst awaiting your decision.

A mound of rock dust/mulch or unattended golf cart will attract more unsupervised children than the playground.   Sorry folks, but these resources are more important to our campground than your children are.

A random bag of garbage on the ground does not identify an appropriate spot to place your garbage.   Also, if the sign clearly says that we don’t have recycling available, we actually mean it.  Really.

Silly question #58: “Where can I get a lobster dinner?” Answer, “Ummm…you are on the coast of Maine, you can get lobster at the gas station.”

When renting a kayak, kindly return it to the rack (or even near the rack).  Don’t leave it on the boat ramp for the next high tide to carry it off to Davy Jones’s locker.

You bought a Coleman stove that requires you to purchase “disposable” metal gas containers.  Please don’t assume that the campground has any way of disposing of them for you .  You bought the stove, you get to deal with disposing the containers.  Does it remove your guilt if you place them in front of the dumpsters, or in a neat little stack next to the dumpsters?   Better yet, ditch that stove for something more sustainable.

If the shower doesn’t shut off when you are finished, try turning the knob.  Just like at home.  We have faith that you can do it without having to report it to the office.  Oh, and when you leave to report it to the office, don’t leave the shower door wide open.

When a toilet overflows, you lock the bathroom door accidentally, the sink stops up, or you nearly pull a doorknob off whilst trying to close a door, please report these things to the office immediately.  We actually want to fix them immediately.

When you know you are the type that complains about everything, just own it.  Don’t start every statement with, “I don’t really want to make an issue out of this, but…” 

When the shower token machine says “tokens only,” this does not mean dimes or pennies.  We know it’s confusing. These items tend to jam the machine so badly that it requires 2 people and 1 hour to fix it.  We only have 6 showers, when 2 are jammed and we have a full campground, you do the math.  No shower for you!

If you drop anything on the ground, pick it up.   This means twist ties, Hershey bar wrapper corners,  gum wrappers, coins, bottle caps, dental floss, paper towels, toilet paper, etc.  As a matter of fact, pick up 2 extra pieces of trash each day that you didn’t drop.  The world will be a cleaner place.

No matter how hot you get your campfire, the following items are still not flammable:  cans, aluminum foil, cigarette butts, and plastic.  And, just a side note, these things are also toxic when burned.  Keep that lung cancer to yourself, please.

There is a way to open a bar of Hersey’s chocolate bar which does not end with the corner of the wrapper in the fire ring or under the picnic table.  See above if it does.

 If you re-design your fire ring during the course of your stay, please try to replace the rocks you moved (or even get them close); not everyone can appreciate your aesthetic. 

When you get up to watch the sunrise on top of Cadillac mountain, don’t blare your car stereo so loudly that it wakes up the entire campground on your way out.

Leaving your flammable trash in the fire pit when you leave is not being considerate to the next visitor no matter what you may tell yourself.   Remember, rain and paper products don’t mix well.  Your lovingly placed newspaper or paper towels become a soggy spongy mess for the campground workers to clean up.

Candles make great lights, and are romantic, a rock however does not make a good holder.  It looks like a 2^nd grade art project and sticks around for the rest of the season.

It takes a village to keep the bath house clean, please choose to be a part of that village.

When the sign on the office says “closed,”  the office is closed regardless of whether there are workers in it and lights are on.  They may actually be doing something important to prepare for the next day.  Or, returning the voice mails of the calls that were missed when you took 15 minutes to decide between sites 19 and 20.

We provide a broom in the cabins for a reason, discover it for yourself.   Explore its many uses!

If you poop in the port-o- potty, kindly close the lid.  Oh, and please do try to get your poop into the hole provided.  Come on!

If you pee in a toilet, lift the seat.  Honestly!

You’re camping.  Ladies, tell me how a fresh coat of make-up, perfume, and stylishly groomed hair adds to the experience?    Give the primping a break for a few days, you deserve it.

If the camp host saves your vacation by pulling your trailer up the hill that you’re punk-ass car couldn’t make and then backing it in right where you want it, at least offer him a beer.   Or, better yet, a tip!