On Border Crossings

While we are no strangers to international border crossings, in the past few weeks we’ve been working on some sort of record (in the non-casino, non-truck driver division of course).  The pleasantness of these crossings is directly proportional to the length of time one stands or sits in line and the attitude of the agent representing one of our two nations.   The exchanges can range from the friendly though cautious and thorough, to the outright paranoid, intimidating and just plain mean.   Let’s just say that the level of complexity of our story increased with each crossing.  By way of illustration, we will outline our itinerary and the relative pleasantness on a 5 point scale ( 1 = please enjoy these complimentary bottles of Maple syrup, 3= tell me more, you crazy tourists, 5 = spread your cheeks wider).  

October 3:  Blissfully enter Canada with Buck and Hamlet via Sault Ste. Marie, CN border patrol (Rating = 2)
October 4:   Get in major car accident and total our poor truck, Buck
October 12:   Board a bus in North Bay, CN, head to Gary, IN (to buy a new truck) via Detroit, MI border patrol (Rating = 3.5)
October 13:   Cautiously drive back to Canada in new truck (with temporary plate) via Port Huron, MI border patrol (Rating = 2)
October 19:   Board a plane in Ottawa, CN and fly to Nashville, TN (for a wedding), clear customs in Ottawa (Rating = 1)
October 22:   Return to Ottawa, CN, once again crossing the border in Ottawa (Rating = 3)
October 25:   Leave Canada in Billie Jo (our new truck) via Cornwall, CN border patrol (Rating = 4)

After 4 trips across the border in a matter of 2 weeks, we decided that just answering the questions asked of us would perhaps make things a bit simpler.  We were wrong.  Our favorite conversation with a Canadian border patrol agent at the Ottawa airport went something like this.  Note:  If you are one of those people who begin to squirm when situations get uncomfortable, we recommend you skip the following conversation below.

Agent:  What is your purpose for visiting Canada?
Us:   We are on vacation.
Agent:   Where are you going?
Us:   Ottawa to visit friends.
Agent:   How do you know these friends?  Do you have a round trip ticket?
Us:   Friends of friends from home, and no.
Agent:   How will you be leaving Canada?
Us:   In our car.
Agent:   Your car?!?  How did your car get to Ottawa?

At this point, we realize that by simply answering his questions, we might quickly find ourselves in a situation that warrants a #5 (see above). 

Us:   Would you prefer the short story or the long story?
Agent:   I think I’m going to need the long story.
Us:   Well, let’s see….and we launch into our story covering the complex itinerary above while the young, chisel-faced, Canadian border patrol agent attempts to follow our story and make sense of all the details, simultaneously scanning both of our faces to pick up any nonverbal clues that might tell him a different story.
Agent:   Wow, you’ve had a big month!   I hope things get easier for you.

These folks have a tough job to do protecting one of the largest “friendly” borders and no less than a few days ago some maniac in the Pacific Northwest with a gun and a van seriously injured an unarmed Canadian border guard – she’s going to be okay.  Sadly, the shooter was from the good old US of A and probably got his 2^ND amendment firearm from some gun show rodeo.  It has added more fuel to the “arm the border” debate in Canada, and with this tragedy present in the collective consciousness, they are building a new training center to arm more officers.    We liberals used to look north and think wistfully of a place where some progressive ideals were in place, and where a rational conversation about guns could actually take place.  Dude, where’d my gentle neighbors to the north go?  Guess what friend, one day in September 2001 changed a lot, and we will probably never know where the ripples from that tragic event will ever end.  

But let us ask the question, did all the high school bullies (male and female) find jobs as border patrol agents or were we just lucky?  While many agents were relatively friendly and doing their job effectively, one situation stands out in its underlying social message.  Apparently if you travel by bus, you are up to some sort of shenanigans.  Picture this….bus pulls into border patrol at 6am after traveling all night.  Twenty two people disembark with all of their baggage and are shuffled into the secure waiting area.  One by one, each person is questioned and processed, then told to go sit and wait with their luggage.  After all 22 people were finished with step 1 (and waited through the shift change at 7am), we were then told to stand in line so that an agent could check our luggage.  Now, this was no cursory luggage examination, it was a complete unpacking of all personal belongings and review of each item with the border patrol agent.  While this was certainly the most time consuming border crossing we had ever experienced, we suppose that we understand its necessity; BUT, does this include rude behavior and mocking of foreign tourists and the things they chose to bring with them?   In all of our travels around the world via airplane, train, or bus, we have never witnessed such treatment.  Evidently, if you can afford to travel by plane or your own vehicle, you get better treatment in the U.S.  We were proud to be Americans on that day.